Au Revoir, Paris

And so closes a too-short chapter of ma vie. I can't help but wonder where I'll go from here. Will I ever flâne through your streets again, rainy Paris?

I cannot even begin to describe the emotions I'm experiencing right now. It's a little bit like leaving behind a friend, or a lover, for an indeterminate amount of time, but it's more than that, even. I'm leaving behind a part of myself - because I discovered so much about myself here, and I have discovered that so much of me is here.

It's very similar to the way I felt when we moved from the only house I'd lived in for 18 years. Except in that house I spilled oil on the rug, I drew a self-portrait on the wall, I chipped off part of the countertop when I busted my lip on it. Here, I don't feel like I've been able to leave my mark, so the departure is more like ending a relationship to which I'm just beginning to devote myself.

I cannot imagine who I would be, what I'd be doing, where I'd be going today if I had not studied in Paris. Being here, away from every jugement, every sticky-situation, and every important life-changing decision, is like being stuck in time - time allotted specifically for me and my self-discovery.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have had this experience, and I know it will affect the way I live the rest of my life. I love Paris.